Seemed like yesterday...16 Sept 2006

Today is our first year church wedding anniversary (because we had civil wedding 6 months prior to our church). We follow the church because it's the one blessed by God before men. Just last year it is.

And it seemed like yesterday.

Exactly a year ago at 8:35 in the morning, my make-up artist and his hairstylist came in at my bridal suite. They were early for the 9AM schedule. The video and photo group as well had just started to cover our morning activity before we all head off to the church. I had to ask Ayie, my make-up artist, to hide my eye bags as I was not able to sleep well last night. Good thing I didn't have acne on that day otherwise I would beg on my knees to Joy, Poms's dermatologist cousin, to prick it off for me immediately.

It was a very nice weather. God must have heard our prayers. There was a forecast of storm to hit Manila a week before my big day and we were all praying for a bright day on the 16th of September. And there it was - a breezy and sunny weather for all. (Thank you once again, Lord!)


For some reasons, my appetite mixed up with my overwhelming emotions. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink, and I couldn't sit in one corner, I just want the day to end like an ordinary birthday party. But it wasn't. It wasn't just a birthday party. It's a once in a lifetime event for me and Poms. A dream that Poms made into reality. It's our wedding day!

Tina, my couturier, told me I had to take something. Some of her brides in her past weddings refused to eat before the ceremony and didn't do any good. So before I faint, I took my sister's large fries and forced myself to finish the whole pack.

Right after my make-up was done Belen Paulin, my florist, came. I was delighted to see my long-stemmed yellow Calla lilies freshly bundled in a burgundy wrap along with the fresh bouquets of my female entourage. Millet, my wedding coordinator, went ahead with Belen to check the flower arrangement in the church.

Everyone seemed to be in perfect order but I don't know what's bothering me. The guests? The ceremony? The reception? The program? What could be the wedding flaws to expect. What could be the worst thing to happen in every woman's dream? I couldn't think of anything. I just want the day to pass by. I was never comfortable in the "spotlight" so to speak. I am a very quiet person and very much ok without the people watching me. Hmmm...probably the reason why I chose to be the writer rather than the celebrity. Makes sense to me.





















While everyone was busy with their late lunch, I went inside the bathroom for a while and looked at myself in the mirror. "I still don't believe it. I'm getting married in church. I'm finally tying the knot with the man I truly love."

This is more than winning the jackpot lottery. But the thought of leaving my family will never leave my mind. I will surely miss the house where I call home for 30 years in my life. I will definitely miss the nights where I see them all after a tiring day at work. My family has been there always for me. They have accepted Poms in my life even before we got engaged. And at one point, I made one of my parents' dreams come true - to walk me down the aisle.



















Suddenly, memories of my childhood began to linger. I was once like Chloe, my 4-year old niece, who knew nothing about the world, who just wants some candies and cheez curls, and who wants to play with her friends the whole day. An innocent child who just waits for her parents to come home and wait for the pasalubong or some goodies.

When I was 7, I wanted to grow up fast and work like an adult. I wanted to work in the office like what my parents do. Now that I've all grown up and tasted the real meaning of life, childhood years seemed to be a rewarding era. Just by listening to one of my favorite fairy tale stories make me fall asleep. My sister and I were often invited to weddings to stand as flower girls. So I wondered, what is making those brides happy I want to know. Someday I'm gonna meet my own Prince Charming too. That was 23 years ago. I also miss those days when my siblings and I play hide and seek and make our living room a mess. I miss the weekends when my siblings and I watch our favorite TV heroes "Bioman" but those were the days. Someday soon, they'll all be following my steps - getting married and start a family of their own.

My heart made me vulnerable. Not sad but tears of happiness. I don't know how to show them how grateful I was for my brothers and sisters' support and how proud I was to have them as my parents. In my thank you speech, I told them that if I would be given the chance to choose my own parents I would still choose them.


After that, I thought of Poms. He must be really serious about it. Asking me to marry him was never a joke to him while I laughed it off during casual conversations. He must also be equally nervous as well. I'm sure he was. We were not allowed to see each other at that moment so I thought of him the whole time.


Then someone came knocking at the door and said "Hurry up, Mrs. Ong Ante. We'll be late!"


AT 3:25PM, we all departed Sofitel Philippine Plaza. At that time, Poms and the rest of his male entourage were already in the church. We had to be in San Miguel church on time because our main celebrant is the Archbishop of Manila. It was an honor to have him celebrate our wedding.

Cardinal Rosales has been very good to us even though we haven't had the chance to meet him personally before our wedding. He was scheduled to leave for the U.S on the week of our wedding. And my Papa who was his student before in the seminary must have given more than enough reasons for him to stay. They haven't seen each other for 30 years. That was long.

There was silence inside the bridal car. My parents weren't talking to me. I wasn't talking to them both either. Maybe it's really like that. This is the first wedding in our family so it must be really that way. We got in the church at exactly 3:40. Mama broke the silence as she got out of the car. "Ready?" with a smile on her face. I nodded. If I say a word I would cry. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to ruin my make-up. I loved what Ayie did to my face. This time I was trying to comfort myself as I can't stop shaking and my hands were very cold. Jenny, my maid of honor and friend Ryan her boyfriend, came to me and fixed my veil.

I hear the music of "Pachelbel's Canon in D major" inside. Cromwell and Cyrus, my two brothers, were assigned to open the door for me which made it more significant to me. As they opened the door, I walked slowly.

"Kick and step, kick and step..." was Tina's advised. I paid more attention to my walk as my wedding gown was long and my train was a bit heavy. I don't want to stumble and make the "greatest flaw" of all. Poms chose my bridal march - How Beautiful by Paris Twila. I wanted to choose from my list of love songs but when I heard the first few notes, we both said "This is it."

I see the happy faces and tears of joy of all our friends who shared our support and loved us all the way. I thank the Lord for giving me the courage to walk with all the eyes on me. It was the bravest walk ever in my life.

The shaking of my hands disappeared when Poms, my Hubee, held my hand. As we reached the altar, I said to myself, "Thank you Lord I made it without tears! Please make it this way..."

My hands were still sweating but when I looked around and saw my SFC sisters in front as our readers, I was comforted. These people have become part of my life. They were there ever since Poms and I crossed our paths. They prayed for us and were excited to see the moment we exchange I dos. I will forever thank the Lord for CFC-Singles for Christ because it is where it all started.

It was a hot afternoon but I didn't feel the heat that much because the fan was focused on me. The white Calla Lilies we ordered were neatly placed in the right corners. I would love Millet forever for doing such a great job. It was all in kind. The choir was also fantastic. They are the in-house choir of the shrine. Bro. Gil, the choir leader, helped me with the best wedding songs to play. They were once invited to a wedding not long ago where Cardinal Rosales celebrated the ceremony so he knew pretty much what songs of praise to play.




The moment we've all been waiting for came. Poms and I were asked to stand up as well as our parents and our principal sponsors. It was time to affirm our vows.

Poms's voice was normal and relaxed. He looked very confident and at eased which made me more uncomfortable . I find it hard to believe that I was the only one who wants to faint. I was never been so nervous in my entire life. During my school years I was often asked to dance in major school programs, during sports fest, and parade. But for some reasons I never got used to people looking at me. I just want to perform my skills in front of my friends and family but not in the public's eye.

Poms delivered his vow with no sweat and it looked like he did it for 10 seconds! It was my turn now. I started it with a smile "In the name of God and his people..." As I went along I felt something uncontrollable. The fear that I was hoping for not to happen is now entering each sole of my veins. The force was so strong I couldn't fight it.

I cried in tears 'til the last word of my vow. It was the longest moment in my life. In my mind I was scolding myself like "What was that?!" And I really didn't know. I practiced my vows everyday 2 weeks before the wedding and I never cried.

My friend Ina was right. Once you're there you'll never notice any particular details around you. No matter how hard you practice, it would still be different once you're there.

It must be that God made me realized how blessed I was that day, how happy my parents were, and how deserving I was for that reality. It must be His Holy Spirit who made me realized these things and jokingly tapped my shoulders "See? I told you I've prepared someone for you. Thank you for your patience my child." And my reply was "Ok Lord, you got me there! Now let's go back to my request, please don't make me cry again, oh please please."

I never thought I would be that emotional. My personal test was that when I reached the altar and I didn't cry then it would be that way until the party is over. But it wasn't so I guess it's time for me to stop dreaming that I'm not an easy-to-cry type of person because I am.

Of course how could I forget the wedding ring ceremony? The rings blessed by Cardinal Rosales with our names engraved in each band will serve as a reminder of the promise we made before God and His people.

"I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Paulinius Ong Ante...Poms, you may kiss Cienna." Poms slowly put my veil up and we kissed. The sweet embrace was a surprise. We practiced the kiss but not the embrace. It was the best moment in my life. No more crying just the smiles and the applause of the guests.

Exactly 1 year ago was the start of a great adventure of married life. As what Jonash, Poms's cousin, said, "Good times are over but the best times are yet to come!" It was and still is.

Hubee and I continue to discover something about each other everyday. We may have been apart for 6 months (2 months after our wedding), but we didn't totally feel the absence of one as we communicate each other almost every single day.

Hubee is my pet name for Poms. It is short for Honey bee because when he works, he's as busy as a bee and he doesn't want to be bothered with my annoying antics when he's home working.

I'm not sure what it is but I feel like a child again with Poms. And I'm loving every inch of it. But sometimes I get to play the role of the good cop when he forgets to put some stuffs back to where they belong.

I guess that's what married life is all about. Now 10, 20, 30, or more years to come would I still be reminiscing my wedding day? I hope so because my wedding day to me was a fairy tale come true.:)